It’s not fair. People claim to know you through the things you’ve done, and not by sitting down and listening to you speak for yourself.

  • Hannah Kent, Burial Rites

‘I Kyun’ Test

I kyun test
Here’s a simple test. Just answer all questions honestly and whenever the answer is yes, ask yourself ‘Kyun(why)?’ Why do you do it?

1. Do you feel irritated when someone points out your mistake, and feel satisfied when you point out others’ mistakes?

2. Do you regularly give money to beggars but refuse to buy stuff from those selling at traffic signals citing the reason that you don’t need it?

3. Do you get frustrated by slow traffic and try to get through any way you can even when you are not in a hurry to get anywhere?

4. Do you feel really proud when you make a wild guess and it turns out to be correct and also really glad when someone else’s wild guess proves to be wrong?

5. Do you almost never succeed in getting up at 5 a.m. for prayers and almost always succeed in getting up at 4 a.m. when you have to catch a flight or even watch something on TV?

6. Would you rather be wrong with everyone else than be right alone and face criticism?

7. Do you give more importance to praise from your boss than a smile from your mother?

8. Do you enjoy reading about human faults and weaknesses more when you feel that you don’t suffer from those weaknesses yourself but others do?

9. Do you hate your boss and think he is a chawal(fool) when he treats you badly but feel justified when you treat your subordinates / servants badly because they are chawals(fools).

10. Do you feel that you know much more than your elders because you are the modern youth and also feel that you know much more than those younger than you, because you are older?

Extract taken from :

Why Am I Always So Tired?

In “Pakistan’s Sleep Deficit” I explain why adequate sleep is as important to life as food and water.  The research backs me up on this, as insufficient or irregular sleep has been implicated in heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse, and depression.  Sleep deprivation also compromises the immune system, leaving one more susceptible to illnesses of all kinds, from colds to cancer.
In “Pakistan’s Sleep Deficit”  I explore the unfortunate fact that most Americans consider sleep a luxury, and berate anyone who sleeps “too much” or “too late,” although what constitutes “too much” sleep is an arbitrary standard that ignores the variability of people’s sleep requirements.
In the mid 20th centuries, most Pakistanis averaged 8 to 8 ½ hours of sleep per night.  Today the average is 6 hours, which means that many Pakistanis suffer from chronic sleep deprivation.
Ayesha, a young woman I know who is graduating from college this summer, was complaining to me recently that she sleeps way too much.  Even her roommates call her lazy and tease her about always needing naps, even after a “full night’s sleep.”
I asked her about her sleep regimen.  Four years ago when this same young woman had described frequently sleeping 16 hours at a stretch and still feeling exhausted, I had pressed her to get tested for mono.
Back then, as it happens, she had mono.
This time, though, the sleep pattern she described consisted of sleeping from midnight to 8:00 a.m. every day.  She went to bed at the same time and got up at the same time quite regularly.
And yet, she lamented, she still had to have a nap when she got home from class each day.
“Has it occurred to you,” I asked, “that you might be one of the many people who need more than 8 hours of sleep a night?”
“But that can’t be normal!” she exclaimed.
But it is normal.  I, for example, need 8 ½ hours of sleep per night.  I can manage on less, and usually I am forced to get by on much less.  But if I want to pop out of bed well-rested and ready to face the day with a full charge of energy, I need those 8 ½ hours.
I suspect one reason I need extra sleep is that my allergies cause my sleep to be less solid than it would be if I could breathe more comfortably while sleeping.  A lot of people have their sleep quality undermined by breathing problems caused by allergies and, more seriously, sleep apnea.  Whatever the reason, though, anything less than 8 ½ hours leaves me tired and in need of a double jolt of caffeine to help me get started in the morning.
After I told her that I need 8 ½ hours of sleep, Ayesha told me that 8-10 hours is what she requires, too, and she had always felt guilty about being so “lazy”–a feeling that has been reinforced by all the people who tease her about being lazy because she sleeps “too much.”  She was actually relieved when I told her she probably wasn’t sleeping enough!
Some people do very well on 7 hours of sleep a night.  Some lucky folks need only 6, and there have been documented cases of people whose sleep requirement was a mere 5 hours.
But the 8-hour standard that most people put such faith in is actually an average, which means that some people need more sleep than that, some less.  And whatever your body’s natural sleep requirement is, it is non-negotiable.
Every hour of sleep debt you accumulate must be paid off.  A certain amount of sleep debt is necessary: after all, we must be awake part of the day in order to be able to sleep at all at night.  But excess sleep debt, accumulated sleep debt that is not paid off, will drag you down, and the more of it you accumulate, the worse you will feel–and the less optimally you will perform on any task.
If you need, say, 9 hours a night but only permit yourself  8, then after a 5-day work week you will have accumulated 5 hours of excess sleep debt that you will have to repay.  People usually do this by sleeping 2 or 3 hours late on Saturday and Sunday–that is, if they allow themselves to catch up on sleep at all.
If they don’t, then their sleep debt will continue to accumulate, until at some point they simply crash and sleep for 12, 17, 20, or more hours at a stretch.  We all know people who do this from time to time.  Heck, most of us do this from time to time.

How much sleep do you need to wake up easily, without an alarm clock (or two or three, or four, as many of us require!), and eager to get up and face the day?
Most Pakistanis actually don’t even know their own body’s sleep requirement, because for as long as they can remember, they have been dragging themselves out of bed before they are “slept out.”  Whether it is the pressure of school or a job, or whether they just can’t stop playing video games, surfing the net, or watching TV, no Electricity, Noise most Pakistanis normally do not get enough sleep.
In order to find out how much sleep you need, you would have to allow yourself to sleep until you awaken naturally for several weeks.  The first week or two, you would sleep a lot of extra hours, because you would be working off your sleep debt.
Then you’d need one or two weeks of normal sleep, to allow your body to find its natural sleeping pattern.
I never got to do this until I was 18 years old!  That’s when I found out that with 8 ½ hours of sleep I am a turbocharged dynamo.  How wonderful it felt to leap out of bed without regret each morning and go about my work with all the energy I needed to get it done.  For a while I even gave up my morning coffee.
The set of circumstances that allowed me to sleep as much as I needed for several months was an aberration in my life.  It happened for the first time when I was 18, and it has not happened again in the 1 year since.
These days, even when I could sleep enough (as I could have during 5 weeks of last summer), I never do.  Why?  For the same reason no one else does, even when they can: because there are too many things I want to do, and I hate to “waste” my free time sleeping.
Usually I stay up late reading or writing.  Different people have different fixations.  But most of us have something we love to do and wish we had more time for, so when we do get free time, we are more likely to spend it on what we love to do than on paying off our sleep debt.
My 22-year-old friend Abdur-Rehman complains all week about how exhausted he is from his university life, his 40-hour work week, and his fairly demanding workout schedule.
But then on weekends, instead of sleeping, he parties with his friends until the wee hours of the morning.
Maybe if we were less chained to our jobs, if we had more prime time available for our own pursuits, we wouldn’t have to stay up all night to fit our fun into our lives.  But then again, it is soooo hard to put down that book, log off from the internet, or leave the party.  The fact that we can stay up all night, thanks to artificial light, means that we probably will, even though our bodies beg us for sleep.
But as I explain in “Pakistan’s Sleep Deficit,” chronic sleep deprivation has very serious consequences.  We would do well to listen to our bodies and make it a habit to get a good night’s sleep.
And that’s just what I meant to do this evening–before I let myself get caught up in writing and posting this essay.

BE CONFIDENT : What you are and what you do !!

Everyone says that “Trust in a relationship is very important”. Yes it is! But trusting yourself is more important. The era in which we are living is very technological and advanced era where people have a lot of opportunities to prove themselves but still they are not able to do something different, unique and productive and the main reason behind this is that they don’t have trust and confident on themselves that whatever thing they will do it will be right. So, there is a strong need to build confidence in ourselves. We all are always having some fear inside ourselves which usually prevents us to do something which is useful in real sense. So, we should try our best to get rid of this fear as soon as possible if we want progress. There are a lot more people who want to do something great but then they get trapped into such kind of thoughts “What people will say?”, “May be my friends don’t like this”, or maybe “I am not able to do it” etc. etc. We should understand this if we will do good some people will surely appreciate you and encourage you and on the other hand some will criticize you as we know this fact that every picture has both the sides that is darker and brighter one. Now, it totally depends on you that which complement and comment you are going to take it seriously and always remember people are always their to talk about everything. They are always free to make judgments and assumptions.

So, I just want to say that be confident what you are because every person is unique in himself. You are perfect what you are now. Be proud of yourself. Allah has created everyone different. Focus on your own abilities, capabilities and specialties rather than comparing yourself with others because comparison gives you nothing. And always try to find yourself what you meant to be and what you are born to be!

How do you define yourself ?

How do you define yourself ? As a friend, son, father, colleague, husband, teacher, student, lawyer, accountant, or any one of a myriad different titles? Or do you define yourself by others’ perception of you? Do any of these come close to your own knowledge, your own personal experience of who you really are?

In your quiet moments, in times of inexplicable joy, have you had the overwhelming and yet clear and lucid feeling of total invinciblity – a feeling that nothing can hold you down, that you CAN accomplish ANYTHING and EVERYTHING if you put your mind to it? Well, that feeling is not a random one.

What is it that gets in the way of your exquisite power? Consider for a moment an iron bar that has magnetic power inherently in it. It will attract or repel things based on it’s own intrinsic magnetism. Over time, if this bar begins to rust, it’s power will begin to diminish. The oxidative damage from the environment that the magnet has not been able to resist, will render it ineffective, eventually. This in no way means that the iron bar is not capable of it’s latent, original power. All it needs to do is shed it’s rust. Or, consider if you will, a light bulb that is lit, but covered with soot. As long as the soot remains, it will be unable to fulfill the very purpose it was meant to serve – to radiate light.

According to ancient Vedic texts, this is in effect what happens to the human experience. The infinite power that is naturally present in each and every one of us by virtue of our own consciousness, can be rendered ineffective if not tended to properly. The stress of our lifestyle, the pollution of our environment, and the collective stress of our world keeps us from functioning at our full potential.

But there are remedies: incorporate modalities in your lifestyle that effectively combat stress and help keep you centered. Some of these options are:

Be aware of what you eat, and what you use – both on yourself, and in your environment. Choose natural, organic products.

Live a life of kindness, compassion, and charity – it keeps you connected to your center, your source, that infinite reservoir within you that is your powerhouse.

Don’t judge people, or situations – approach each moment with the knowledge that it contains within it the potential of any number of possibilities.

To connect with your real nature that is unbounded and invincible, practice yoga and meditation.

Once you are in touch with your true nature, then nothing is beyond your means – you are truly empowered. And THAT is an accurate definition of YOU!