How do you decide who to ‘Marry’ ? – In Kids Opinion


A group of young kids were asked how to decide who to marry and here are the results which are pretty amusing.

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.- Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they’re rich.- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.- Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.- Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is……..

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.– Ricky, age 10

 

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Speak Up : It’s ‘Your’ Life


I think this is the most important question which everyone should ask from his-self that “Are we really satisfied with our lives?” and the majority answer is No, Not! After getting the answer of your self-asked question just gives a little thought on your life which you are having. “Is it really the way how u wants it?” If it is according to your approach then it is fine but if it is not then you can change your life only if you are willing to change it otherwise time never stops for anyone it has to move so the life too has to go on. We can take the example of a child whose parents forces him to choose science subjects knowing that he is more interested in arts subjects. Now the child should convince his parents that he wants to study arts subjects because he is good at arts and he is not capable of studying science subjects. But the problem is if he does not convince and start studying those subjects which his parents has chosen for him so what will happen in the end, obviously failure or a bad marks! Afterwards he will keep complaining about his life that what a hell life he is passing or so but if he think a little bit about it he will surely get the answer all this pathetic life which he is passing is due to his fault of not convincing his parents, for not taking stand for his career. As we are not the servants of anybody. Allah Almighty has created us “Ashraf-ul-maqluqat” which means we are independent; we can make decisions of our life independently i.e. we are capable of making difference between what is right and wrong for us. I don’t say that we should start doing things without any guidance and permission from our elders. It is very obvious thing that the guidance of elders matters a lot but if they are wrong at some point we should tell them what is right by giving logical reasons. In this you will be more self-satisfied, can lead more better life and ultimately you will be a successful person.

Another very important issue which is more common in less developed country that is of marriage. When there comes a time of marriage people (specially referring to the people of rural areas) don’t bother asking their daughters about their willingness of getting married to the guy which they have selected. They don’t consider the acceptance of a girl in a marriage is important. They just think that we are elders so we have every right of making decisions of our offspring. Marriage is actually the thing which is the contract between a girl and a boy so the willingness of a girl matters a lot as it is her life she has a full right of making her life decisions as she is going to spend a whole life with that guy not his parents. So be strong and speak for yourself because no one is going to fight for your rights because it is your life !

A marriage does not just come down to ‘love’ or ‘arranged’


The success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether it was arranged or not but rather on how two people understand each other.

Before I begin, I wish to clarify something. I find the terminology chosen by several authors in proving ‘Arranged Marriages to be better” is beyond irksome; I am referring to the distinction made between ‘arranged’ and ‘love’ marriage. The reason being that this distinction manages to associate many negative connotations to a ‘non-arranged’ form of union.

I am often left bewildered. How can a marriage of any kind be without love? Surely that is a key component in a successful marriage. I suggest that we correct our terms of reference. As such, I will use the terms ‘traditional’ and ‘non-traditional’ to substitute for ‘arranged’ and ‘love,’ respectively.

From the very start ‘young girls’ are to remain submissive and to spinelessly accept that being judged in the comfort of their own homes is a ‘rite of passage’ of some kind. This is the crux of the issue. Surely, we should promote an individual’s active participation in the matter of marriage, or shouldn’t we not?

It is after all one of the biggest decisions of their life, no?

Marriage is a gamble regardless of how it happens to come about. It is destiny, it is fate. How we make it work is down to how we are raised and educated. Respect and equality are values that children must be instilled with anyway. Life is full of hurdles and accepting defeat when faced with marital disputes would be plain ridiculous. Reacting rationally to such situation is an ability that we should teach our children, to prepare them for any kind of problem not just marital.

The success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether it was arranged or not but rather on how two people understand each other; how their perceptions differ or concur with each other; how patient or impatient are the couples in slippery situations.

To some authors arranged marriages are well-thought out, considered and then arranged on the contrary People who usually fall in love are bound to be blinded by passion that love ignites in you. But in reality this might not be the case if we are educated to respect the sanctity of marriage as a union to begin with.

We must realise that this is probably the biggest decision of one’s life and not something to be embarked upon on a whim. Those ‘blinded by passion’ are clearly not in love but are merely infatuated. Yet, we would not know the difference between the two because we, as a society, are taught to fear the very notion of ‘love’. Even uttering the word in a conversation is treated with astounding negativity.

Remember that love doesn’t automatically warrant ‘bahayai’ (indecency) or ‘baygairati’ (vulgarity). It is a natural phenomenon. Do not fear it, embrace it. After all, it is the ultimate aim of traditional marriages that you so solemnly support, is it not?

In an ideal society all parents are well intention-ed as you would like to believe. But even if they are, this is beside the point. Parents are not the ones getting married, are they now? Parents must encourage children to grow up to make their own decisions in life, and this goes for career choices too and many other facets of their children’s lives.

It seems to me that some of us have found an exit strategy by pinning down the blame over our parents shoulders in case our marriage fails; definitely easier then owning up to your own shortcomings for sure. Even in an ‘arranged’ affair of marriage, parents must encourage their child to engage in the decision-making process and to actively consider the outcomes themselves.

Ultimately, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and in no way do I intend to berate either form of union. We often say everything is down to fate. However, there is only so much that is predetermined. We must differentiate right from wrong and blind traditions from religion.

I am not suggesting that one form of marital arrangement trumps the other. I merely wish to convey that failure of one does not make the other better or vice versa. Regardless of the form of union, whether love or arranged, we must concentrate on preventing their breakdown by taking the matter of marriage seriously from the very start when decisions are made.

“In an arranged marriage all your relatives and so called well wishers push you into a well,however in a love marriage you willingly jump into one.end result is same”