No one cares!


I am sad, not only today but, from a couple of months.

It’s been a long since any one from six of you (authors at this blog) have written anything here.
You’ve all abandoned a new born.. *cries a river*

cute baby pics cute baby crying free background desktop cool cute baby crying

It’s like I’m dead!
Revive please!
Let the words bleed!
Make me productive!

Perhaps if this were a story…


He smiled at his good fortune. He did not know that for even a person as bitter as him, the taste of a little chocolate could feel so sweet. All his life he had hated little things. He would always notice them as an observant standing far away in a group of people whose existence didn’t concern him. At that moment, his only concern was her. She was scared. Why wouldn’t she be? He had been so awkward with her on their first meeting.

He liked her simplicity; her soft voice; her warm body.  He used to drool in the cosiness of her aura. Perhaps it was time to accept that he was in something us commoners refer to as ‘love’? His friends repeatedly asked him but he just couldn’t accept their logic. He gazed upon her picture. “How could someone be so beautiful?” he asked himself. He would spend hours walking with her. He would never tell her how beautiful she was for he believed that beauty should be silently admired.

He laughed at her jokes; never wondering what they meant. They used to spend Fridays having lunch together. When for a moment their hands crossed paths, the brief touch of her skin negated all the laws of physics as, “how could the collision of tiny particles of skin create so much static that everything in him went into a state of disorder?” All facts suggested that this was some sort of a mental illness. He did not believe that anyone alive could secrete this much Serotonin whenever she was near.

He had a nagging, itching feeling that she was the right one for him. It was rather funny really. He decided to propose her. The setup was as perfect as anything could be. A table illuminated with candle lights by the river with a flowery shade above it.  She wore a red dress which in contrast with her skin colour proved to be a pleasant spectacle for his eyes.

“I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you”, he said.

She first smiled then looked at him with eyes of sorrow. “You are in love with me but I’m afraid that we can’t be together”

“I don’t understand. We have had great moments together. How could you… how could you not love me?” he asked as if guards of hell personally came down to hand over an invitation.

“I love you as well” she admitted. “But reality negates our co-existence. Perhaps if this were a story…”

A Collection of Best Lines


1030Paolo

“This is what we call love. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.”
– Paulo Coelho; The Alchemist.

 

 

khaled_hosseini_120111
“It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn’t make everything all right. It didn’t make ANYTHING all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird’s flight. But I’ll take it. With open arms. Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting. – Amir”
– Khaled Hosseini; The Kite Runner.

 

 

AppleMark
“History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books-books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, ‘What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”
– Dan Brown; The Da Vinci Code.

 

 

013.ac.bo.tock.op.JohnGreen2x720
“I was gawky and she was gorgeous and i was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So i walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”
– John Green; Looking For Alaska.

 

 

huu


“You have two choices. you can keep running and hiding and blaming the world for your problems, or you can stand up for yourself and decide to be somebody important.”
– Sidney Sheldon, Nothing Lasts Forever.

 

 

 

khi

“Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secure and afraid, loved and denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, complete and empty…all of it. I would feel everything. It would all be mine.”
-Stephenie Meyer; The Host.

 

 

 

jiyiu
“The sun,–the bright sun, that brings back, not light alone, but new life, and hope, and freshness to man–burst upon the crowded city in clear and radiant glory. Through costly-colored glass and paper-mended window, through cathedral dome and rotten crevice, it shed its equal ray.”
– Charles Dickens; Oliver Twist.

 

 

jhhb
“I have little left in myself — I must have you. The world may laugh — may call me absurd, selfish — but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.”
– Charlotte Bronte; Jane Eyre.

Who are you?


The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. Sometimes a writer’s job is to say something that can catch eye of the readers obviously.

*Caesura*

Have you ever thought even for half a minute that who are you? and why are you..?
You ain’t just the bones of your body that are carrying the load. You’re not your body, because living cells come and go and are generally outside of your control. You’re not your location, because that can definitely change. You aren’t your DNA because that simply defines the boundaries of your playing field. You aren’t your upbringing because siblings routinely go in different directions no matter how similar their start.

You have some responsibilities!

You have some role that you’re here, in this world!

Everybody has.. No one’s created without a meaning. Living a life doesn’t means to get your bones loaded with what you have, to let your body enjoy, to make love, to sleep all day and party all night, to have meals in supreme hotels, to waste time and die in the end.

So what does the Creator, Allah, tell us about our purpose in life? Allah states in the Quran that He created man to be His Khalefah, His trustee on earth (Quran 2:30). Mankind’s basic trust, our responsibility, is to believe in and worship Allah:

And I did not create the Jinn and mankind except to worship Me… (Quran, 51:56-58)

Very simple! The purpose for man’s creation is to worship the Creator. The essence of Allah’s message through all of the prophets also was:

O mankind, worship Allah, you have no deity other than Him. (Quran, 7:59,65,73,85; Also 11:50,61,84; and 23:23,32)

Allah further states that He made this life in order to test man so that every person may be recompensed after death for what he has earned:

[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran, 67:2)

But in order to worship Him, we have to know Him well otherwise we may form a distorted concept of Him and then go astray. In the Quran Allah tells mankind what He is and what He is not. For example, in response to a question about Allah that was posed to the Prophet Muhammad , Allah instructs Muhammad to give the following reply:

Say (O Muhammad): He is Allah [Who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, nor is there to Him any equivalent. (Quran, 112)

It is clear from this that Muhammad is not the author of the Quran otherwise he won’t have shown that someone is dictating to him what to say.

Also, Allah has to tell us how He wants to be worshiped, which He does in the Quran. He also tells us in the Quran that all Prophets came with the same identical message to their people – that is to believe in Allah and to worship Him. He also tells us in the Quran that all the people of other religions have deviated from the original teachings of their prophets. This is due to two reasons. The first is that earlier scriptures were not preserved simply because of the absence or scarcity of writing paper and so the teachings were transmitted orally and with time became distorted. The second reason is because the clergy of various religions introduced doctrines that were never there (e.g., the Christian trinity creed was introduced only after the council of Nicea in 325 AD and the Council of Constantinople in 386 AD). Because of the changes that crept into earlier religions, Allah tells us that He sent the Prophet Muhammad as the last and final prophet and guidance to mankind with a scripture that He promised would be preserved forever. Allah provides a test to prove that the Quran is from Him. Allah says:

Then do they not reflect upon the Quran? (i.e. its meanings and its objective) If it had been from [any] other than Allah, they would have found within it much contradiction. (Quran, 4:82)

The Quran is available for scrutiny and investigation by any person to try to find even one error or contradiction in it. In fact this test must be applied to any other scripture that claims it is the word of God.

Try to know yourself and you’ll find meaning in your life other than that busy routine. The feeling of contentment will follow you at your doorstep.

Don’t take things so seriously


99% of the human beings on this surface are pessimistic by nature. It is filled in them till the top-est lid with such an uneven distribution that the lid can’t be tighten as it’s boiling out of that lid.

Whenever anything happens with people (-anything refers to any mishap or it can be anything, any situation that normally each and every being faces. The difference is just that some people have made things more magnified for themselves by being a pessimist) they, without giving a single chance to their brains to think and without normalizing themselves, directly stretch their mind towards the pessimistic approach. From here, people start taking things or they see even the most simplest things with a complexed eye, with high magnification in other words. Though those things are too normal to handle but just because their mind ain’t willing to think for the positive stuff.

As I’ve mentioned earlier about the two types of people but I haven’t discussed them with elaboration over there so here I am going to explain it briefly. First of all, people who have difficulties in their lives but they deal with problems head on, doing their best to anticipate and prevent them. On the other hand are those who become pessimistic that nothing can get back to normal as it was. Things have changed and much more negative stuff like this.

The second type of people are those who’re left empty handed in the end. They start degrading themselves, they think they are not loved or can never be loved. They think they’ve nothing and they are nothing.

REMEMBER! 

Someone once said:
If you’ll respect yourself, the entire world will respect you. If you won’t, people simply will kick you off..

Be courageous. Just you have to do is change your thinking, a little. You just have to take your mind from negative to positive terminal.

Be positive. respect “me” and the world will be yours!

In the end, adding something worth appreciating and worth sharing composed by a very best friend of me. Beautifully written Shereen. I hope you’ll keep on writing much more stuff like this for me for making my article more captivating and appealing.

Here it comes..!

“WHY SO SERIOUS”
Dudes and girls, why making life so complicated?
Like someone? Go, tell them (otherwise, someone else will)
Regrets and tears. Oh God why didn’t I hate someone?
Make them realize. Make them suffer, badly..
I know, you can’t be an angel. But don’t be an evil too.. Bit of both.
Can’t get over something? Someone?
Then stick to it. It will be yours one day *pinky promise*
You are devastated inside? Cry out loud!
But don’t let others know about that.
Outside you are the most happiest. Let people envy you.
Heard of the saying “Smile, that’s the best revenge”?
So smile please!
Don’t get disappointed.. You’ll murder your talents *warning!*
Express your anger through words. Don’t explode please!
You ain’t a hydrogen bomb.
Life’s so uncertain.
Eat your dessert first (and for those like me, who only eat dessert, move to the main course)
Dress differently. Give a competition to Lady Gaga.
I know I know life is just like Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle..
Surety in one aspect and uncertainty in other. Huff!
But then dude, life knows what are you capable of..
Stop degrading, hurting people..
History repeats itself..
And boys, It’ll only take a few of your ego to love back!
Don’t be a self-centered person.
I know this is one of the dominating trait of Y chromosome.
Dance!
Laugh!
Bunk!
Sing!
Make new friends..
It’ll help you live longer.

Hasta la vista guys! 

Life, a precious gift!


Every being who’ll have a look on this article would probably must agree with me If I say “Life’s a second name for difficulties”. In the mean time, life is beautiful as in it’s a gift for us. It’s too precious to waste. If you take your life seriously then you will truly understand that each day is a gift.

The thing is, like any other book, the book of life contains or includes various chapters. Some of which are of extreme joys while some are of supreme worries and frustrations on the other side.

A person cannot b entirely happy of having everything as this is in human nature – this creature, even if he’s blessed with everything, will have had a darker side of thoughts, there will be a desire to get even more.. A person have everything what he needs, everything he desires for but still there’s something that’s lacking. From here, he starts figuring out that what actually it is that takes him insane in the present minute and takes him back to normal in the next minute. This state of mind builds up depression plus anxiety. From here, he sticks to be a pessimist.

Think momentarily about the things that you are worried of; I mean if you think seriously nothing is more precious or amazing than life itself. When you understand life is a splendid gift from above you will never miss out a single thing. In fact, sometimes you feel like having nothing. Remember! When you’ll have God in your life you will have purpose. Seek him out.

Quoting something said by a friend:
“Nobody has a life free of Hardship, It’s actually these hardships that shape our character. Because due to these, we feel alive.”

Life is a gift, it is an incredible, splendid gift. Remember; how you live your life, determines the quality and how you look at your life, reflects your value and priority.
Give a kick to distressing stuff, worries and frustrations! And SMILE for having enough in your life. For having God with you. For having your parents around you. For having people who truly care for you.

Life’s beautiful, a very beautiful gift!

It’s not about shedding tears or regretting things every time. It’s much more then that.

Be free. Think free. Live free! 🙂

Amjad Islam Amjad – امجد اسلام امجد


     شمعِ غزل کی لو بن جائے ایسا مصرع ہو تو کہو

اک اک حرف میں سوچ کی خوشبو دل کا اجالا ہو تو کہو

امجد اسلام امجد –

When i reflect back, there was this one prose writer and poet who really inspired me. For many Pro Pakistanis it’s always been Allama Iqbal, Faiz Ahmed Faiz, Habib Jalib, Mir Taqi Mir, Mir Dard or Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib. But for me it always has been and will be Amjad Islam Amjad.

Amjad born on August 4, 1944 turned into a well-known Urdu poet, drama writer and lyricist. Having written many books including poetry and prose; He received many awards for his literary work and Screenplay for TV. In which Pride of Performance and Sitara-e-Imtiaz are most eminent.

Jab bhe ik shaam yad ati hai,
Jesi dunya thehr se jaati hai.

Ik taraf dil hai, Ik taraf dunya,
Aur yeh scene kayenaati hai.

LAHORE: A survey carried out by the Gallup Pakistan on Wednesday found Amjad Islam Amjad the “most popular writer,” followed by the late Ashfaq Ahmed and Ahmed Nadeem Qasmi.

A nationally representative sample of men and women from across the four provinces was asked “Which of the following writers (of literature) do you like the most?”

Responding to this, 26 per cent named Amjad Islam Amjad as their favourite author, 13 per cent considered Ashfaq Ahmed as their most favourite, 13 per cent opted for Ahmad Nadeem Qasmi, 11 per cent for Haseena Moeen and six per cent for Mustansar Hussain Tarar.

Eighteen per cent claimed that no one was their favourite author and one per cent cited other authors. However, 12 per cent did not give a view.

To read more from this category click : Literature

So, Who is your favorite writer or poet ? And why ?

11 Signs He’s Cheating on You


Had to hear Aaaa-lot after “10 sign’s She’s cheating on You” – Don’t tell me you didn’t read it.

After being called an anti-feminist, I had to take measures; So here It is for all you gorgeous out there 😉 Kudos.

IS HE A CHEATER?

As I’ve said earlier there is no such thing as a “perfect relationship”.Studies reveal that 50 to 60 % of men engage in affairs, hanky-panky, illicit meetings 😉 at one time or another during their relations.

Be the “Nancy Drew” in your relationship if you suspect your man of cheating.Had sneaking suspicions? Daunting Doubts? If you’ve watched any “Maury” at all, you’ve seen enough stories to know that the woman asking for a lie detector test already has more than enough information to suspect her guy of cheating/leading a double life/dressing as a clown.

Do you have to go to the extreme of hooking up your ‘honey bunny’ to a machine? Heck no! If you are a smart, capable and intelligent woman/girl, you already have all the tools you need to sniff out the truth.

All you have to do is open your eyes to the following signs:

  • Number 11

He has ‘Cheated’ Before :

I always say: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If he’s done it before, he’s definitely capable of doing it again. It has nothing to do with you, which is why you can’t say that he cheated on his previous lover because she didn’t keep him happy. Cheating is a self-serving act in which the cheater doesn’t take his significant other into consideration. If someone is upfront with you that he’s made mistakes in the past, maybe give them a chance — but make it a long probationary period before you let your guard down.

  • Number 10

 The hunted becomes the ‘Hunter’ :

This is a classic technique that: deflect guilt by accusing someone else. Some of the higher level of the man animal employs this technique. Why defend yourself if you can make someone else feel guilty? The trick is to not deviate from what the original discussion/argument/Battle-Royal was all about. He will employ all the tricks at his disposal to deflect you. Remaining focused is the key; no matter what he tries.

  • Number 9

Black becomes White :

A sure sign of a problem is when your man was a talker and then turns into a deaf-mute (or vice-versa). This is one of the very important signs to look for. Only the truly insane can carry on a double life. Normal people (even cheating men); find it difficult to lie on demand. So, instead of telling you about his day (like he used to do), he clams up for fear of revealing too much. The guy who never said anything suddenly starts giving up all sorts of information to “screen” his other activities. Beware any sudden or inexplicable shift in your man’s personality.

  • Number 8

He’s an Excellent Liar :

If you catch him in a lie, your trust will naturally be damaged. Don’t hold a grudge — forgiveness is a good thing. “You can forgive, but don’t forget”. If he consistently breaches your trust, it’s establishing a pattern of behavior that leads to cheating. Do yourself a favor: If he keeps lying, whether these lies are big or small, get out while you can and don’t let him talk his way back in.

  • Number 7

Your future looks Hazy :

He used to talk about future plans with you. He suddenly stops. Why? It’s because he doesn’t see you as part of HIS future. If you can’t answer, “where do you see us in 6 months?” it’s because he doesn’t see the “us” in six months.

  • Number 6

They call me Mr. Clean!

Guys are creatures of habit. Ladies, you don’t have to see the lipstick, or smell the perfume. Guys don’t like to change the soap that they normally use; they don’t like to use a different deodorant than the one they have been using since they first got chest hair. Guys don’t like to use to cologne if they didn’t before. So, if your guy changes his grooming routine, it’s because he’s trying to throw off the scent of any possible pursuit. No wonder men are referred as “dogsunfaithful ones” !!

  • Number 5

He’s Pulling Houdini’s :

If he’s disappearing, traveling, or unavailable to the point where you are starting to wonder, then he could be cheating. When ever you need him he vanishes from the face of the earth like literally. It’s time you activate your detective side because it’s tough to synch up schedules, especially in secret. 😉

  • Number 4

He is being less Passionate and Affectionate :

Even though relationships ebb and flow naturally, if you’re sensing that he’s drawing away from you, then there may be someone else. Emotional disconnect should be investigated regardless of whether it’s caused by cheating. There’s a problem if he’s not laughing or seeming as passionate as usual. It’s hard to spread love/passion between two people, so the person who used to have it will feel it slipping away if it’s being given to someone else.

  • Number 3

His cell phone habits have changed :

In a perfect world, we’d be open about sharing our correspondence with our significant others. Most of the time, we trust that we don’t have to worry about who is texting or calling them. But, if you notice that he is getting protective and/or nervous when he gets calls or texts, it may be cause for alarm. Suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock. Or perhaps now he keeps his cell phone in his pocket when in the past he would leave it on the counter. Beware.

  • Number 2

Decrease in Making-Love :

Unless he’s Superman, he can only makes so much love. So, if he’s getting it from another source, you might notice. It’s another woman — even if he’s not cheating — a decrease in making love signals serious issues in the relationship.

  • Number 1

If you’re reading this, it may already be too late…

The best judge of if your man is cheating is ‘YOU’. You can look for signs, but there are some men that are very clever. Like a ninja, they leave no trace. You have to trust your judgment when dealing with anyone, even someone you care about. A relationship between two adults should be based on trust. If you can’t trust your man, the relationship is dead; it just hasn’t been buried yet. If you are looking for signs, it’s because you already know but want some confirmation.
*Unless, of course, you’re the crazy, jealous girlfriend type and no matter what, you think your man is cheating on you. In that case, you need therapy sweet heart.*

Disclaimer :  Apply On Your “OWN RISK”

When you get suspicious that your significant other is cheating, be careful not to appear to be paranoid. You have to walk a fine line — you don’t want to make false accusations.

So, while I shared this list of cheating red flags, I concede that it’s a tricky situation. It’s hard to be sure if someone’s cheating, but protect yourself: Be vigilant, and pay attention to your mind and spirit within the relationship. But, at the same time, be careful not to let anxiety lead the way because unnecessary paranoia will just drive your lover away.

If you invade his privacy, this may ruin the relationship, especially if it turns out he wasn’t cheating because it’ll prove to him that you don’t trust him at all.

And if it’s confirmed he is cheating on you – then stay tuned because coming up next is : “How to Get Over a Cheating Boyfriend” . I know I can be cruel at times 😉

Give out your comments, any point you think I missed, all the hate speech to be directed only to -> me. In the comment section below 😉

Here Lies Art


The lies in our life, and more than that in our art, satiate an elementary desire within us — to view the world differently.

A man prepares a powder which compels the eater to speak nothing but the truth. One day, as he was carrying the sack of his powder on his donkey across a canal, the animal slipped and the entire content got diluted in water. Once this ‘contaminated’ water reached all homes and people drank it, they started speaking the truth. They spoke honestly about what they felt and the city was a chaos and in constant quarrel because no one was able to face the facts.

This story by some Egyptian writer illustrates how the human society is constructed — on the basis of lies. As a child, one is taught to speak the truth but as he grows up he realises how impossible it is to lead that ideal life. One has to conceal the real in order to survive peacefully.

Perhaps, the ability to choose between the truth and the lie is a feature exclusive to humans. While other species act according to their instinct, man decides on the options of various versions of a single reality, event or possibility and then prefers the one that suits him, regardless of whether it is factually right or wrong as long as it serves his purpose. Hence we tell lies about our past, present and even our future too, knowing fully well that it is a distorted depiction of reality. The lies are not just confined to the personal lives and family matters, they extend to the realms of politics, business, sports, law, academics and information media. Interestingly, both the speaker and the listener are aware of and accept the fibs presented as facts.

Only when it comes to the question of ethics, the issue assumes a crucial significance; since a number of lies are told for some better cause and not to deceive someone. For instance, a doctor may hide from a cancer patient his actual condition. Likewise, the teachers often do not reveal the true standing of a student in order for them to keep struggling. In the media, truth is sometimes deliberately held back for reasons of state security. In sports, a spin bowler communicates to the batsmen his intended throw but changes it deliberately; ditto for hockey, tennis and other sports. Politics thrives on lies — great promises and claims — when the politicians know these won’t be fulfilled or achieved.

We happily live with this scheme of things, detaching the issue of morality from our pragmatic course of existence. This process is observed in the world of art too because, here, we perpetually enjoy false constructions. When watching a film, the spectator is moved by the story and performance of actors, knowing that the hero is impersonating someone else and the incidents are not based upon his actual life. A man marries on the screen to a woman who is not his wife or an actor is shown as the daughter of somebody who is not related to her in real life. Yet, we willingly suspend our disbelief and start believing in these fabrications so much that we cry, love or hate those characters.

Similarly, a writer of fiction creates a story which has nothing to do with reality but we connect with it so much that we weep, become agitated or enjoy reading about certain episodes. The power of fabrication is such that often people start believing in it, to the extent that a book of fiction may invoke protest and strong reactions — like issuing decrees to kill the author. Somehow, the more removed a literary work is from reality, the more it is enjoyed; is in fact described as ‘original’ by readers and critics.

In visual arts, fabrication takes place at all levels. A man admires the portrait of ‘Mona Lisa’ painted by Leonardo da Vinci in the sixteenth century. He likes the face and figure of the female, appreciates the landscape in the background and is excited (as well as perplexed) about the smile on her lips, but is oblivious to some basic truth — that what he is looking at is just a combination of different colour pigments glued on a poplar panel. The model, Lisa Gherardini, wife of Francesco del Giocondo, is long dead with her mysterious smile yet nobody notices or admits this ‘fact’ because everyone is allured to the illusion created by the great Renaissance painter.

In fact, the presence of these lies in our life, and more than that in our art, satiates an elementary desire within us — to view the world differently. This practice, like dreams, leads to the world of imagination and fantasy. We create imaginary beings, situations and settings both in our sleep and during our wakeful hours. A child does it for his play and amusement; the adults pursue and perfect this in order to be recognised as great writers, actors, directors and artists.

Thus the world of art is a passage from reality to illusion or from truth to lies, since illusions and lies can be more interesting, engaging and enchanting than plain truths. However, as compulsive liars know that only a lie closer to life will have a believable quality, artists when they tell ‘lies’ try to make it as acceptable as the world in our surroundings. On the contrary, their creations are not dependent upon reality since these acquire their independent status, as valid as truth yet detached from it. And only a perfect liar among the artists can be a great creative individual, like Pablo Picasso, Paul Auster and Penelope Cruz.

By Quddus Mirza

A marriage does not just come down to ‘love’ or ‘arranged’


The success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether it was arranged or not but rather on how two people understand each other.

Before I begin, I wish to clarify something. I find the terminology chosen by several authors in proving ‘Arranged Marriages to be better” is beyond irksome; I am referring to the distinction made between ‘arranged’ and ‘love’ marriage. The reason being that this distinction manages to associate many negative connotations to a ‘non-arranged’ form of union.

I am often left bewildered. How can a marriage of any kind be without love? Surely that is a key component in a successful marriage. I suggest that we correct our terms of reference. As such, I will use the terms ‘traditional’ and ‘non-traditional’ to substitute for ‘arranged’ and ‘love,’ respectively.

From the very start ‘young girls’ are to remain submissive and to spinelessly accept that being judged in the comfort of their own homes is a ‘rite of passage’ of some kind. This is the crux of the issue. Surely, we should promote an individual’s active participation in the matter of marriage, or shouldn’t we not?

It is after all one of the biggest decisions of their life, no?

Marriage is a gamble regardless of how it happens to come about. It is destiny, it is fate. How we make it work is down to how we are raised and educated. Respect and equality are values that children must be instilled with anyway. Life is full of hurdles and accepting defeat when faced with marital disputes would be plain ridiculous. Reacting rationally to such situation is an ability that we should teach our children, to prepare them for any kind of problem not just marital.

The success rate of marriage doesn’t depend upon whether it was arranged or not but rather on how two people understand each other; how their perceptions differ or concur with each other; how patient or impatient are the couples in slippery situations.

To some authors arranged marriages are well-thought out, considered and then arranged on the contrary People who usually fall in love are bound to be blinded by passion that love ignites in you. But in reality this might not be the case if we are educated to respect the sanctity of marriage as a union to begin with.

We must realise that this is probably the biggest decision of one’s life and not something to be embarked upon on a whim. Those ‘blinded by passion’ are clearly not in love but are merely infatuated. Yet, we would not know the difference between the two because we, as a society, are taught to fear the very notion of ‘love’. Even uttering the word in a conversation is treated with astounding negativity.

Remember that love doesn’t automatically warrant ‘bahayai’ (indecency) or ‘baygairati’ (vulgarity). It is a natural phenomenon. Do not fear it, embrace it. After all, it is the ultimate aim of traditional marriages that you so solemnly support, is it not?

In an ideal society all parents are well intention-ed as you would like to believe. But even if they are, this is beside the point. Parents are not the ones getting married, are they now? Parents must encourage children to grow up to make their own decisions in life, and this goes for career choices too and many other facets of their children’s lives.

It seems to me that some of us have found an exit strategy by pinning down the blame over our parents shoulders in case our marriage fails; definitely easier then owning up to your own shortcomings for sure. Even in an ‘arranged’ affair of marriage, parents must encourage their child to engage in the decision-making process and to actively consider the outcomes themselves.

Ultimately, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and in no way do I intend to berate either form of union. We often say everything is down to fate. However, there is only so much that is predetermined. We must differentiate right from wrong and blind traditions from religion.

I am not suggesting that one form of marital arrangement trumps the other. I merely wish to convey that failure of one does not make the other better or vice versa. Regardless of the form of union, whether love or arranged, we must concentrate on preventing their breakdown by taking the matter of marriage seriously from the very start when decisions are made.

“In an arranged marriage all your relatives and so called well wishers push you into a well,however in a love marriage you willingly jump into one.end result is same”